Biographical Profiles

This is me (Kevin Alan Garland)

Name Etymology: Anglicized form of the Irish name Caoimhín, derived from the older Irish Coemgen, composed of the Old Irish elements coem "kind, gentle, handsome" and gein "birth". Saint Caoimhín established a monastery in Glendalough, Ireland in the 6th century and is the patron saint of Dublin.

Born: November 26, 1969 in Valparaiso, Indiana (Sagittarius)

Current Residence: Alcoa, Tennessee (18 miles south of Knoxville -- Big Orange country)

Physical Appearance: That's me in the photos ;-) I'm 6'2" tall with dark brown hair and brown eyes (although the hair is quickly abandoning me and turning white). I keep my weight around 180 lbs. but I love food and cooking, and I tend to eat whatever I like; so, I end up having to exercise a lot to keep in shape.

Biographical sketch: I grew up in Northwest Indiana. I really liked the Midwest, and was fortunate to live so close to Chicago for the cultural diversity. After high school I wanted to be an astronaut, but the military didn't seem to like my heart murmur, so I went to Purdue and studied a variety of Engineering topics before settling on Computer Science (a little piece of advice, however:  Choose a major and stick with it.  Changing your course of study every semester might make you a better rounded student, but the debt you undoubtedly accumulate isn't always justifiable in the end!)  After squeezing a couple degrees out of Purdue and enduring the snow covered, chilling, wind-blasted wasteland of the Chicagoland area for 28 years, I moved to Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm still relatively close to my family and old friends, yet never in danger of becoming a human popsicle (plus I just love the mountains).  I married Christi (my angel) in 2003 and we had our first child (Nicholas) in 2005. I finally eked out an English degree from the University of Tennessee in 2008 (no more excuses for not getting a novel written). We currently live in Alcoa, Tennessee.

Short term goals: Pay down credit cards (of course I'll have to get a handle on my spending first -- why do books and computer equipment have to cost so much?) and start saving for a rainy day, and definitely continue to have fun (it's hard but vacations and traveling do help a lot here!)

Long term goals: Raise Nick to be a great guy, re-teach myself to play the piano well (no cheating or shortcuts this time!), learn to play the violin, and last but not least, finish some of my novels (or at least get that best seller published).

Hobbies/Interests: Writing, computer programming/tinkering, watching TLC, Discovery, or all things sci-fi, biking, hiking, camping, softball, football, volleyball, and traveling to cheesy tourist sites -- don't miss the ever growing giant ball of string! ;-)

Favorites:
My favorite authors include Glen Cook, C.S. Friedman, Orson Scott Card, Anne McCaffrey, Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman, David Eddings, Mercedes Lackey, Stephen R. Donaldson, Dean Koontz, Dan Simmons, Robert R. McCammon, Clive Barker, Stephen King. . .

My favorite artists include the Impressionists (Monet, Renoir, Pissarro, etc.), Gil Bruvel, Michael Whelan, Keith Parkinson, H.R. Geiger...

I love fantasy, sci-fi, and good horror (no slasher junk). I'm a movie enthusiast, a computer geek and a New Age music freak (my collection includes everything by David Arkenstone, Enya and Loreena McKennitt).  I also like pop-rock, with selections from Journey, Peter Gabriel, Green Day, Alanis Morissette, The Wallflowers, Fleetwood Mac, Shania Twain, Faith Hill, Blondie, Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Rihanna, No Doubt, Creed, Nickelback, Maroon5, Hoobastank . . .
Of course, let's not forget my Techno collection from Erasure, Yaz, Depeche Mode, Eiffel 65, etc.  And to round things out I also love Classical, Orchestral, and Choral soundtracks from composers such as Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, James Horner, John Williams, Ennio Morricone, and Danny Elfman.

Quiz:
PERSONAL
Nickname(s)? Beast, bones, slim, Kev
How much do you love your job? It pays the bills -- I'd rather be vacationing ;)
Parents' names? Ron & Sue
Siblings? Steve & Dan
Pets? Merlin, Jasmine & Cocoa
Piercings? None on purpose
Tattoos? No, but I do have a mole or two that look like Lincoln
College attended, degree? A.S, B.S from Purdue; B.A. from University of Tennessee
What kind of car do you drive? Chevy Malibu

PREFERENCES
Summer/winter/spring or fall? Fall -- love the colors and temperatures
Tom Hanks or Samuel L. Jackson? Tom, but more for his comedies
Julia Roberts or Sharon Stone? Julia, although Sharon's more memorable ;)
Roller coaster: Scary or exciting? Excitingly scary
Coffee, tea, or decaf? Tea, dark with four scoops of sugar
Red or white wine? White
Gold or silver? Silver
Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn? Caramel -- love Cracker Jacks
Storms: Cool or scary? Cool unless people get hurt
Beach, city, or country? Catch a show in the city, swim & play at beach, rest & relax in country
Croutons or bacon bits? Why have stale bread when you can have charred pig
Coffee or ice cream? Ice cream
Coke or Pepsi? Coke (don't give me that watered down stuff, I want the rust remover formula)
Sprite or 7UP? Ginger Ale
Milk chocolate or dark? Dark, but you have to have a glass of milk with it
Chevy or Ford? Chevy
Two or four doors? Four
Bridges or tunnels? Tunnels (just stop honking the horn already)
Mac, PC, or Unix? PC
Adidas, Nike, or Reebok? Walmart special -- whatever's under $20.00
Blanket or stuffed animal? Blanket -- more versatile
One pillow or two? Two; one for your head, the other for support
Beatles or Stones? Stones (beatles can fly high, but a stone will inevitably crush them)
Grateful Dead or Pink Floyd? Floyd -- who mixes sound effects with music anymore
Facing the shower or back to the shower? Back, can't get soap in my eyes
Creation or Evolution? CrEvolution (evolution of species guided by God's hand)

FAVORITES
Shampoo or conditioner? I go for the 2-in-1 deals
Holiday? Thanksgiving -- gotta love the food
Place to be kissed? Depends who's doing the kissing :)
Sandwich filling? Liverwurst
Restaurant? Red Lobster (or any seafood place really)
Fast food place? Hardee's -- gotta love the thick burgers, although Arby's has a good handle on the roast beef
Type of ice cream? Breyer's mint chocolate chip
Toothpaste? Whatever gets them clean and white
Color of socks? White (everyday), black or blue (work)
Salad dressing? The red stuff and vinagrettes
Foods? Seafood
Salad? Fresh, crisp house salads
Dessert? Anything chocolate
Drink, non-alcoholic? Rootbeer, Cherry Coke, Cream Soda, Juice
Drink, alcoholic? Sparkling wine
Pizza topping? Ham and mushrooms
Color? Green (gotta love earthy, grass-green)
Board game? Monopoly
Sport to watch? Football
Sport to play? Volleyball
Movie? Lord of the Rings (entire trilogy)
Magazine? Entertainment Weekly
Word or phrase? Whatever or Sweet
Flower? Purple Clematis
Disney character? Krunk (Emperor's New Groove)
Warner Bros. character? Marvin the Martian
TV show? Twilight Zone/Outer Limits/Star Trek -- Currently Lost & Heroes
TV character?
Town to chill in? Chicago
Sesame Street character? Oscar (I'd love to explore the depths of his trash can)
Book? Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus, by Orson Scott Card
Day of the week? Saturday
Band/Artist? Enya
Car? Lotus Elise
James Bond (Sean Connery/George Lazenby/Roger Moore/Timothy Dalton/Pierce Brosnan/Daniel Craig)? Roger Moore, but Daniel Craig is showing considerable promise
Quote? "I drank what?" -- Socrates ;) "If we shadows have offended,/Think but this, and all is mended,/That you have but slumber'd here/While these visions did appear." -- Shakespeare
Zoo exhibit? The lions and leopards (although the Rhinos are always impressive)
Least favorite subject? Chemistry
Least favorite thing? Sour Kraut
Perfume/Cologne? No, just scented anti-perspirent
Website? Metacafe & YouTube -- a wonderful way to showcase the stupidity of human beings

RANDOM
Have you ever seen a ghost? Yeah, wasn't Patrick Swayze in that? No, haven't really seen one in person
What's on your mouse pad? Star Trek Ship/Grateful Dead (Dancing Skeleton)
If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? Leonardo DaVinci or Ben Franklin (art/science/literature -- gotta love a well-rounded Renaissance man)
How many times did you fail your permit and/or driver's license test? Zero -- aced it
Been toilet-papered? Zero. Nobody likes me, nobody really, really likes me.
Any superstitions? I don't think so, knock on wood
When was your last hospital visit? Kidney Stone -- through New Year's 2000 (great way to ring in the new Millenium)
Lucky Number? 42, of course
What's under your bed? Don't know, probably everything I've ever lost
What color is your bathroom? Burgundy & white (1), blue & pink (2), green & white (3)
Had the drink Calypso Breeze? Don't drink. Well, maybe some champagne or wine on a special occasion :)
Been toilet-papering? Sure, what do you use to wipe?
Been to Europe? Honeymooned in Scotland & Ireland
Been to Africa? Not yet
Been in a car crash? Several -- guess I'm just lucky (broken collar bone was the worst I've gotten from them)
First thing you think of when you wake up? It better be at least 6:00 AM!
What color is your bedroom's carpet? Beige
What was the last film you saw at the movies?  The Last Mimzy
Bedtime? ~Midnight
Best thing in the world? Chocolate
Can you roll your tongue? Sure
Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Are you kidding, have you seen my nose?
Greatest pet peeve? My wife leaving the TV on at night
Hobbies? Computers, photography, videography, writing, camping, hiking...
How many keys on your key ring? ~Six
Last new thing you bought for yourself? Computer software upgrade
What do you do most often when you are bored? With a 3-year-old you're never bored
What do you have for breakfast? Cereal/grapefruit/poptart/granola bar
What was the last book you read? Troilus & Criseyde (Chaucer)
What was the last CD you listened to? Children's songs with Nick
What was the last film you saw at home? Poseidon
What words or phrases do you overuse? Sweet! Whatever
When do you get up? ~6:00 AM
Where would you like to visit most? New Zealand
Which single retail store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy
Which came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken had to grow from an egg, so the egg.

RANDOM (PERSONAL)
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Sure
What did you do for your last birthday? Relaxed
Last person you went to dinner with? Christi, my wife
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Same place, just older
What characteristics do you despise? Cheating, bullying, lying
If you had a big win in the lottery, how long would you wait to contact people? Contact immediate family immediately, others -- probably not until the first check is in the bank
What did you want to be when you grew up? Astronaut
Do you make fun of people? Sometimes, but never hurtfully
Do you get along with your parents? Most of the time
Been in love before? Of course
Loved somebody so much it made you cry? Yes
What inspires you? Those who do good in the world
Dumper or dumpee? Usually dumpee
What do you look for in a partner? Strong opposite traits that I have
Where would you retire to? Probably Asheville, NC
Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No
Do you carry a donor card? Yes
What would you like to accomplish before you leave this earth? To write a novel that someone reads and is moved in some way by it

This is me (Christian Leigh Garland)

Name Etymology: From a medieval Latin name that meant "Christian". This was the name of ten kings of Denmark. Another famous bearer of the name was Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish author of such fairy tales as 'The Ugly Duckling' and 'The Emperor's New Clothes'. In medieval England this was also a feminine name.

Born: January 30, 1974 in Jonesboro, Arkansas (Aquarius)

Current Residence: Alcoa, Tennessee (18 miles south of Knoxville)

Physical Appearance: That's me in the photos ;-) I'm 5'4" tall and I don't give out my weight.

Favorites:
My favorite authors include any vampire romance writers, but especially Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlene Harris, Nina Bangs, Lynsay Sands. . .

My favorite artists include Renoir, Monet (Impressionists)...

I love vampire romance. I'm a movie enthusiast.  I like Leann Rimes, Shania Twain, Emerson Drive, Alanis Morissette. . .

Biographical sketch: Coming soon.

Short term goals: Stay tuned...

Long term goals: Coming soon...

Hobbies/Interests: Reading...

 

This is me (Nicholas Robert Lawrence Garland)

Name Etymology: From the Greek name Νικολαος (Nikolaos) which meant "victory of the people" from Greek νικη (nike) "victory" and λαος (laos) "people". Saint Nicholas was a 4th-century bishop from Anatolia who, according to legend, saved the daughters of a poor man from lives of prostitution. He is also known as Santa Claus (from Dutch Sinterklaas), the bringer of Christmas presents. He is the patron saint of children, sailors and merchants, and Greece and Russia. Nicholas was also the name of two czars of Russia and five popes.

Born: January 14, 2005 in Knoxville, Tennessee (Capricorn)

Current Residence: Alcoa, Tennessee (18 miles south of Knoxville)

Physical Appearance: I weigh ~48 lbs. and I'm ~4' tall.

Favorites:
Suckers, candy, peanut butter, grilled cheese. . .

Saying "No."

My favorites past times are being defiant, telling stories, singing, dancing, swimming in the pool, playing WII and watching TV . . .

I just love TV, especially Ben 10, I'm in the band, Young Justice League, House of Anubis. . .

Favorite movies include: Madagascar, Brother Bear, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Zathura, Night at the Museum, Spiderman . . .

Biographical sketch: Coming soon -- I'm only six!

Short term goals: Becoming a great Basketball, Soccer, and T-ball player.

Long term goals: Build up my immune system.

Hobbies/Interests: Playing outside, playing Legos and Lego Star Wars on the WII, dancing, climbing, running . . .

 

This is us (The Tennessee Garlands)

 

Met: ~April, 2002.

Engaged: September, 2002 at Chimney Rock Park, North Carolina (it rained so I ended up giving her the ring in the car :) Meant to do it during a picnic lunch on the lawn of the Biltmore Estate, but Mother Nature just wouldn't allow it.

Married: May 3, 2003 at Church Street United Methodist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee; reception was held at Regas Restaurant (the food was awesome).

Current Residence: Alcoa, Tennessee (18 miles south of Knoxville).

Favorites:
We love movies and playing cards/board games.

Short term goals: Pay off credit cards

Long term goals: Remodel house/yard

Hobbies/Interests: Reading...